Both good and evil arise from the mind. If you want to become a professional person, you must nurture the determination to achieve that goal. This determination originates in the mind. Choosing to harm or help others also comes from the mind. So where does Buddhism fit in with this concept? Buddhism teaches us to maintain mindfulness and awareness.
Sometimes people leave their home and forget to turn off the stove. This can result in a fire, which is a physical thing. What about the fire within us; the fire of anger? This fire can be kept in check through awareness and mindfulness. All of us experience anger on some level, yet we often refuse to admit that we are angry. If someone asks, “Are you angry with me?” you may say, “No, I’m not angry,” but in truth, you are. That means you are not acknowledging your anger, not seeing that it is present within you. Spiritual practice means learning to recognize our own anger so that we can transform it.
As we know, electricity can help us bake bread and cook rice, but electricity can also cause fire and destruction. What matters is knowing how to use it properly. The same is true of our mind. Human energy is always there – and if we transform it into positive energy, it can help people. However, if turned negative, it can harm. We often have the habit of feeling happy when someone praises us and miserable when someone criticizes us. A Buddhist practitioner should learn to remain calm in both praise and criticism. When someone praises you, do not allow it to go to your head and swell your ego. Likewise, when someone criticizes you, be mindful not to become irritated.
When you are angry with someone, let them know by saying “I’m angry right now. Please don’t provoke me any further. My anger is about to burn me – and maybe you too. Give me space to calm down.” In other words, you are sounding a “fire alarm” to your foe. A great response to this would be “Alright, drink some water, take some deep breaths, and things will be okay.” Sadly, we often fail to do this with the people we love most. The angry person refuses to admit their anger and does not warn others, so suffering and conflict arise. Therefore, it is healthy to sound an “anger alarm system:, just like a fire alarm.
Who among us does not experience pain? If your hand hurts, you take care of your hand. If you eye hurts, you treat your eye. You do not cut off your hand or remove your eye. Thus, the same is true of our minds. When anger arises and it wounds the heart, we must embrace and treat it gently. The anger response is something we create, so we must take responsibility for caring for it, and eventually it will pass and things will heal.
Many people suffer because they cannot accept what comes to them in life. So here is some practical advice: whenever someone you love is angry, take a picture of them. Then, when they are happy, take another photo. Later, when both of you are calm and joyful, show them the two pictures and say: “Look how beautiful you look when you are happy”. Then show them the angry picture and let them see what anger does to their face. With a little humor and gentleness, the message will be received and with practice, the anger response will slowly change over time. Ladies, before leaving the house every morning, don’t you spend time making yourselves beautiful? That is wonderful. However, true beauty must also come from within. Inner beauty radiates outward and spreads to everyone around us.
There was once a married couple and the wife was pregnant. One day, the husband came home very late after being out all evening. The couple argued, and the wife became so intensely angry that she fainted. She was taken to the hospital and tragically, the baby died in the womb. When the doctor’s performed surgery the baby’s body had turned blue and they suspected poisoning. After hearing the full story, however, the doctors concluded that when the mother reached such an extreme level of anger, her body released toxic substances that caused the death of the baby. Although this is an extreme example, we can see the power that anger has and the physical consequences it can have on our bodies and mind. Therefore, we must always practice mindfulness and awareness in every circumstance. Wherever the mind is, our destiny follows. So be wise and choose the kindest destiny possible for yourself and the benefit of those around you.